And THIS, my children, is why we English teachers say AVOID THE PASSIVE VOICE!
My student is writing about the piano, as an advance over the harpsichord. “Technology” would probably have been a better choice than “technique,” since she was referring to the piano’s hammer-on-string mechanism, a change from the harpsichord’s plucked-string operation. And yes, the hammer (as well as the changed “box” of the instrument) did produce more volume. The volume was also variable, so the performer could emphasize melody over harmony by striking those keys harder.
Nothing really wrong with the contents of the sentence, then. Nothing wrong, either, with using the passive voice, although in most cases an active-voice sentence is more direct, smoother, more efficient. The passive frequently makes an awkward sentence.
And my my my, does the precision in this clause turn an awkward passive-voice sentence into something truly bizarre. The act of hearing generally involves ears, and ears are, more likely than not, attached to listeners. Specifying this is really not necessary: in fact, in this sentence the writer can assume the agent rather than specifying: “With this new technology, the performer could play louder.”
Aha! Maybe I’m wrong, and the agent for the verb does have to be expressed. Maybe that’s why students haven’t gotten the message yet! Okay, from now on I will say:
“Students, in order to listen to me, please turn your ears towards me. All right, now: “AVOID THE PASSIVE VOICE!”
April 16th, 2012 at 9:16 am
Geez, okay my passive voice is loud enough for all to hear… Actually I think my passive voice is my speech voice.
April 16th, 2012 at 10:36 am
How about the passive-aggressive voice?
April 16th, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Ah! Perfect! Can you write some rules for its correct use?
April 16th, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Don’t know that I could. I’ve observed its use but it has always seemed foreign to me and, ultimately, self-defeating–very much like the passive voice after all.
April 17th, 2012 at 8:50 pm
This use of the passive voice reminds me of the verbose products of writers who were paid by the word. Are you requiring that a composition be of a certain length? If so, you get what you ask for.
April 18th, 2012 at 7:24 am
Good speculation, but no: for freshmen, I require a certain number of paragraphs (I discuss them as “units of purpose”); for lit papers, I establish a page range. Of course for a student who really has, or thinks he has, nothing much to say, even asking for “an essay” invites filler…